You've reached the internet home of Chris Sells, who has a long history as a contributing member of the Windows developer community. He enjoys long walks on the beach and various computer technologies.
Tuesday, Jan 15, 2002, 12:00 AM in Fun
The Game of Wahoo!
If you like Tetris and you've got .NET installed, check out Wahoo.
Monday, Dec 31, 2001, 12:00 AM in Fun
My Family Heritage
Grandma says that all US Sells are related from the original Sells that came across on the boat after the May Flower.
My father pointed out that my boys are not, in fact, the original Sells Brothers (and that we must be related, as the originals have his haircut).
Saturday, Dec 29, 2001, 7:14 PM in Fun
Elvish in the New Age
TimT said:
od oy dp,ryjomh ;olr yjodz
[d. dpttu. gomhrtd pm yjr etpmh lrud
//yo,
SerdarK said:
Is that Elfish?
ShawnV said:
I think it *is* elvish... let me put my laptop in the fire. Ah yes, I can read it clearly now:
One Desktop to rule them all, One Desktop to find them
One Desktop to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them
in the land of Redmond, where the shadows lie
Off Topic mailing list
Wednesday, Dec 19, 2001, 2:02 PM in Fun
1970s "wocka-wocka" porno guitar
Sung to "Shaft" by Isaac Hayes <http://www.shaft-themovie.com/soundtrack/track01.mp3>
Who's the man with tongue-in-cheek
that's a code machine to all the geeks?
(Box!)
You're damn right.
Who is the man
that would replace COM for its brother runtime?
(Box!)
Can ya dig it?
Who's the cat that won't cop out
when there's IDispatch all about
(Box!)
Right on
You see this cat Box is a bad mother--
(Shut your mouth)
But I'm talkin' about Box
(Then we can dig it)
He's a complicated man
but no one understands him but his pointers
(Don Box)
John Bristowe
Wed 12/19/2001 2:02 PM
dotnet discussion [DOTNET@DISCUSS.DEVELOP.COM]
Tuesday, Nov 27, 2001, 3:52 PM in Fun
I am not making this up...
A friend of mine stumbled over this in the Microsoft source code:
// Function: RunCommandEx
// Synopsis: runs the given command in the current session, more robust
// than RunCommand
// Arguments: none
// Returns: S_OK if success
// History: October 3, 2000 - created [name withheld to protect the guilty]
HRESULT RunCommandEx(LPCWSTR szCmdLine) {
DWORD dwTry = 0;
HRESULT hResult = S_OK;
// try run command 3 times at most
while (dwTry<4) {
hResult = RunCommand(szCmdLine);
if (hResult!=E_FAIL) {
// we succeeded
break;
}
dwTry++;
}
if (dwTry==4) {
ATLTRACE(L"COuld start the command even we tried 4 times\n");
ASSERT(FALSE);
}
return hResult;
}That's not quite my definition of robust, but oh well...
Tue 11/27/2001 3:52 PM
Tuesday, Nov 27, 2001, 3:41 PM in Fun
.NET edition of Truckin' (Grateful Dead)
"Steal this song right off my page." You can find it at http://www.ferncrk.com/jittin.html. Use only in well ventilated area. Do not expose to open flame.
Stuart Celarier
Tue 11/27/2001 3:41 PM
Monday, Oct 15, 2001, 12:00 AM in Fun
The F-Key Diet
Made you look!
(if you don't know what I'm talking about, check here)
Sunday, Oct 7, 2001, 12:00 AM in Fun
Bill's Money
In a recent interview with Barbara Walters, Bill Gates was asked how he felt about Ted Turner's one billion dollar donation to the United Nation. This is what he had to say:
“Certainly, my giving will be in the same league as Ted’s, and beyond. … During my lifetime, you know, the money will be given away.”
He further went on to say:
“I don’t believe in passing on major wealth to (one’s) children, and therefore everything that I’m earning is going toward the causes that I think can help out.”
So far, Bill has given several hundred million dollars to libraries to provide lower income children with access to PCs and the Internet. Do you have an idea for a charity worthy of Bill's Money? Post your comments here and I'll keep track of them for Bill. When he's ready, he'll know where to come.
P.S. Just so you know, Bill has never once supported anything from this page and as far as I know, he has no idea this page even exists. Don't get your hopes up.
Wednesday, Aug 15, 2001, 8:27 PM in Fun
Centerfold
WARNING: Do not follow this link if you don't want to see me naked!
Wednesday, Aug 15, 2001, 11:05 AM in Fun
Don Gives a SOAP Talk
TechEd Barcellona, Spain 8/15/2001
Wednesday, Aug 15, 2001, 1:14 AM
in
Fun
Conference.NET Song Lyrics
King of the Code
Sung to "King of the Road"
Platform for sale or rent
who cares where all the others went
no more pointer, pushes, pops or peaks
I ain't got no memory leaks
I wrote ten lines of C# today
I was more productive than yesterday
I'm a programmer of mean by no means
I'm a king of the code
I
feel sorry for those guys at Sun
DOTNET has got them on the run
But
when I hear Scott McNeally whine
I say stick your VM where the Sun don't
shine
Most folks agree VB DOT NET
Is the best version of Java that
we've seen yet
I'm a programmer of mean by no means
I'm a king of the
code
You C guys think all this stuff is new
A friendly runtime
that hides the goo
I'm a VB guy, better watch out for me
'cause I've
been writing managed code since 93
Database code's busted -- no time to
cry
Patch it all to the newest API
I'm a programmer of mean by no
means
I'm a king of the code
New waves they come and go so fast
COM was love, but love don't last
If COM was love than what's DOTNET
It's love without the cigarette
DOTNET will be here till we all get
bored
Then we'll throw it away and invent DOT-ORG
I'm a programmer of
mean by no means
I'm a king of the code
Wild Side
Bill G
came from Seattle WA
Spread .NET across the USA
Plucked out pointers
on the way
Shaved ref counting - started sporting GC
He said Hey babe
take a walk on the wild side
Hey babe take a walk on the wild side
Chris Sells never once threw one away
In the end, he had to pay
and pay
An object here, and object there
Memory is the place where
they say
Hey Chrissie, take a walk on the wild side
I say hey babe,
let's going back home and finalize
And the .NET girls go
Do do do
do do do do do do do
do do do do do do do do do
doooooooooooooooo ah
<break>The musical stylings of Francesco
Balena</break>
Jon Flanders came from out of the heartland
With ASP he's was everybody's darling
But he never lost his head
Even when they told him COM was dead
I said hey Jon, take a walk on
the wild side
I believe they call it Interop-O-cide
Brian Randell
came and hit the streets
Hoping .NET would bring inter-language peace
He hates it when those bigots say
C#'s for work, VB's for play
I
say hey Brian, take a walk on the wild side
It's curly braces that make
your code bonafide
My friend Don Box, he's just coding away
Though
he was James Joyce for a day
Yeah I guess Don's pretty smart
But he
mistakes his code for art
I say Hey Don, take a walk on the wild side
You're just a liquor salesman, it can't be denied
And the .NET
girls go ....
And the .NET girls go
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do
do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Bill G and
the Feds
Sung to "Bennie and the Jets"
Hey kids - you
wanna see a scene-o
Let's watch Billy Gates get it on with Janet Reno
We're talking anti-trust now - so stick around
Gonna rack legal bills
that know no bound
Hey Joel Kline he's on the case
Oh man he's so
spaced out
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds
Billy he's so silly and litigical
The center of a courtroom scene
He's got those Harvard roots, class
action suits
You know I read it in a magazine - oh yea
B-B-B-Bill G
and the Feds
Hey kids, go crank up your browsers
You're in for
nasty weather, gonna make you wet your trousers We're
gonna stifle
competition with such as sense of ease Gonna bring those
bastards from
Netscape down to their knees Hey Judge Jackson, have you
heard this case
Oh man, his ruling was so spaced out
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds
Billy
he's so silly and litigical
The center of a courtroom seen
He's got
those Harvard roots, class action suits
You know I read it in a magazine -
oh yea
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds
Bill G, Bill G, Bill G, Bill G
and the Feds...
Bill G, Bill G, Bill G, Bill G and the Feds...
DevelopMentor's Conference.NET
Sung by the .NET Band on the
Runtime
Wednesday, Aug 15, 2001, 1:14 AM
in
Fun
This Picture Needs a Caption
Chris riding The Incredible Hulk roller coaster in FLA in
2000. Notice the "COM is Love" t-shirt. I really wanted to say something funny
or ironic in the title of this picture, but words failed me. Got one?
Wednesday, Aug 15, 2001, 12:00 AM
in
Fun
Mr. June, 2000
Nothing comes between me and my technology...
All pictures courtesy of Jason
Whittington's
most excellent PhotoShop skills.
Sunday, Aug 5, 2001, 3:20 AM
in
Fun
Some MORE signs that you may be taking COM too seriously...
- Your
weekly beach volley ball matches are between teams named 'Proxies' and
'Stubs'.
- You read 'ATL Internals' while waiting in line for the next ride
at Universal studios
- You are locked outside your house without your keys
and the sticky note at the door reads 'CoLockObjectExternal' when your wife
gets back.
- You ask your bank if they can send your monthly balance
statements in XML format.
- You return your neighbor's telephone call saying
it was an interapartment callback.
- You ask your cable television company
if they support Channel Hooks.
- You decide to do some detective work by
night and call yourself the IMallocSpy.
- Your kid asks you what a female Ox
is called and you reply OXID.
Aravind Corera
Originally
written for IDevResource
Private Email
Sunday, Jul 15, 2001, 3:20 AM
in
Fun
Can I still be evil?
who cares where all the others went
no more pointer, pushes, pops or peaks
I ain't got no memory leaks
I wrote ten lines of C# today
I was more productive than yesterday
I'm a programmer of mean by no means
I'm a king of the code
I feel sorry for those guys at Sun
DOTNET has got them on the run
But when I hear Scott McNeally whine
I say stick your VM where the Sun don't shine
Most folks agree VB DOT NET
Is the best version of Java that we've seen yet
I'm a programmer of mean by no means
I'm a king of the code
You C guys think all this stuff is new
A friendly runtime that hides the goo
I'm a VB guy, better watch out for me
'cause I've been writing managed code since 93
Database code's busted -- no time to cry
Patch it all to the newest API
I'm a programmer of mean by no means
I'm a king of the code
New waves they come and go so fast
COM was love, but love don't last
If COM was love than what's DOTNET
It's love without the cigarette
DOTNET will be here till we all get bored
Then we'll throw it away and invent DOT-ORG
I'm a programmer of mean by no means
I'm a king of the code
Spread .NET across the USA
Plucked out pointers on the way
Shaved ref counting - started sporting GC
He said Hey babe take a walk on the wild side
Hey babe take a walk on the wild side
Chris Sells never once threw one away
In the end, he had to pay and pay
An object here, and object there
Memory is the place where they say
Hey Chrissie, take a walk on the wild side
I say hey babe, let's going back home and finalize
And the .NET girls go
Do do do do do do do do do do
do do do do do do do do do
doooooooooooooooo ah
<break>The musical stylings of Francesco Balena</break>
Jon Flanders came from out of the heartland
With ASP he's was everybody's darling
But he never lost his head
Even when they told him COM was dead
I said hey Jon, take a walk on the wild side
I believe they call it Interop-O-cide
Brian Randell came and hit the streets
Hoping .NET would bring inter-language peace
He hates it when those bigots say
C#'s for work, VB's for play
I say hey Brian, take a walk on the wild side
It's curly braces that make your code bonafide
My friend Don Box, he's just coding away
Though he was James Joyce for a day
Yeah I guess Don's pretty smart
But he mistakes his code for art
I say Hey Don, take a walk on the wild side
You're just a liquor salesman, it can't be denied
And the .NET girls go ....
And the .NET girls go
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do do
Let's watch Billy Gates get it on with Janet Reno
We're talking anti-trust now - so stick around
Gonna rack legal bills that know no bound
Hey Joel Kline he's on the case
Oh man he's so spaced out
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds
Billy he's so silly and litigical
The center of a courtroom scene
He's got those Harvard roots, class action suits
You know I read it in a magazine - oh yea
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds
Hey kids, go crank up your browsers
You're in for nasty weather, gonna make you wet your trousers We're
gonna stifle competition with such as sense of ease Gonna bring those
bastards from Netscape down to their knees Hey Judge Jackson, have you
heard this case Oh man, his ruling was so spaced out
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds
Billy he's so silly and litigical
The center of a courtroom seen
He's got those Harvard roots, class action suits
You know I read it in a magazine - oh yea
B-B-B-Bill G and the Feds
Bill G, Bill G, Bill G, Bill G and the Feds...
Bill G, Bill G, Bill G, Bill G and the Feds...
Sung by the .NET Band on the Runtime
All pictures courtesy of Jason Whittington's most excellent PhotoShop skills.
Originally written for IDevResource
Private Email