You've reached the internet home of Chris Sells, who has a long history as a contributing member of the Windows developer community. He enjoys long walks on the beach and various computer technologies.
Friday, Mar 5, 2004, 9:45 AM in Fun
Introducing Chris “Flash” Sells
Don "XML" worked a little PhotoShop magic on a poster for a movie that I loved growing up (it was one of two record albums I had and I listened to it over and over and over):
Don "XML" Demsak
DonXML Demsak's Grok This
Thursday, Feb 26, 2004, 8:36 AM in Fun
A Redundant Chris Sells
When I'm having fun with the Sells brothers, I like to tell them that I don't have two boys, but rather one boy and one redundant backup in case one of them needs "erasing." I have never told which of them is which, however, 'cuz I like to tortune them (hey! I paid for 'em!)
I would if Chris J. Sells in Beaverton, OR or Chris D. Sells in Dallas, TX is the redundant one...
Monday, Feb 23, 2004, 1:03 PM in Fun
50% Evil is Still 50% Good
According to the The Gematriculator, sellsbrothers.com is 50% evil. Nothing about "genius" is mentioned...
[via Ryan Farley]
Tuesday, Nov 25, 2003, 9:42 PM in Fun
Oh Lord, I've Been ASSified...
Here. Rory does it again. : )
Wednesday, Oct 22, 2003, 11:21 AM in Fun
The Cow Puncher Punchline
Here. I did remember the rest of the cow branding story from last night's Portland Nerd Dinner: -I'm embarrassed to admit that it was I who paid the cowboy $2 to eat the newly harvested cow testicle -A few months later, Cal sent me a copy of the Klamath Falls Herald and News featuring a visit from "Visiting Windows Expert Chris Sells" (or some such) shaking Cal's hand. I don't think it was the cow testicle incident that got me in the paper, but I try not too think about it too much BTW, if you're on the fence about the Portland Nerd Dinners and you have trouble with conversations involving cow testicles, mafia hits or how to defraud the phone company, you might want to stay home for the next one...
Sunday, Oct 19, 2003, 9:50 PM in Fun
Black Cube for "Chris Sells (Likeness)"
Here. This caused me to laugh 'til I snorted. : )
Friday, Oct 10, 2003, 11:01 AM in Fun
Guerrilla Usability Group Strikes!
Here. I *love* the idea that militant usability experts are scraping terribly designed web sites to present the information in a more pleasant way. Can't you just see Alan Cooper in a beret? : )
Friday, Aug 22, 2003, 10:37 PM in Fun
A clickable button
Here. As much as I love the site, I've only made two contributions to CodeProject.com. Reading the comments about one (".NET Delegates: A C# Bedtime Story") made me nostalgic for the other...
Tuesday, Jul 15, 2003, 12:00 AM in Fun
The Original ".NET Redneck"
Eric Sink claims to be the ".NET Redneck," complete with cardboard cutout:
Shawn Morrissey [shawnmor @ microsoft.com]
Taken at Gnomedex
July 15th, 2003
Sunday, Jul 13, 2003, 12:00 AM in Fun
Fly Daddy Al
Alan Cooper's 14-year old son rapping about his Dad.
Marty Cooper [marty @ cooper.name]
Stolen on 7/13/2003 from Alan's USB hard drive when he mistakenly put it into my
computer
Thursday, Jul 10, 2003, 12:00 AM in Fun
Top 10 XML Specifications Rejected by the W3C
10. WS-IrishSpring: for scented, more pleasing SOAP packets
9. WS-UPS: for sending SOAP packets in real envelopes
8. WS-USPS: for sending SOAP packets that dont need to get there
7. WS-PrisonShower: for picking up the dropped SOAP packets
6. X-Wife: protocol for monetary transfer
5. WS-Insecurity: dating protocol for web services programmers
4. WS-Monopoly: protocol used to keep antitrust penalties to manageable levels
3. NICKLE: for encoding smaller binary attachments
2. SFFCI: Syndication Format for Complete Idiots
1. WS-XXX: bringing a business model to XML, e.g.
<xxx:image
xmlns:xxx="uri://hustler.com/2003/oohlala">
<xxx:setting>the
storeroom</xxx:setting>
<xxx:model
gender="female"
tattoo="skull"
/>
<xxx:model
gender="male"
moustache="true"
/>
<xxx:pose>saucy</xxx:pose>
</xxx:image>
Chris Sells, Jason Whittington, Tim Ewald, Becky Dias & Brian Jepson
Presented at the Applied XML Developer's Conference West 2003
July 10, 2003
Tuesday, Apr 22, 2003, 10:09 PM in Fun
"Software Legend" Silliness
Brad Abrams make Jeffrey Richter and me stand in front our of "software legend" stand-up cut outs yesterday so that he could take a picture. I've already gotten crap from my new team at MS for being one of these guys. I assume it's the shock and awe... : )
Brad Abrams
Tue 4/22/2003 10:09 PM
Saturday, Apr 12, 2003, 12:00 AM in Fun
The SellsBrothers Little League Team
Here's the SellsBrothers Beaverton Area Little League team looking very serious. Notice the SellsBrothers logo on the hats. Having your own company definitely has it's perks. : )
Here's the SellsBrothers team looking more natural.
Beaverton, OR
Saturday, April 12, 2003
Tuesday, Mar 4, 2003, 8:44 AM in Fun
Grandpa's Scalloped Corn
This is a recipe that I sent in for the O'Reilly title "Gastronomy for Geeks". It was handed down to me by my grandfather at our cabin on the lake. He was into manly food that sticks to your rips and left the more delicate dishes to my grandmother.
Ingredients
- 1 15oz can of cream-style corn
- 1 15oz can of non-cream-style corn (drained)
- 2 cups of crushed saltine crackers (although other crackers and even potato chips work well)
- 3 eggs
- 1 cup of milk (scant)
- 1 tablespoon of butter or margarine
Number of Servings
- 9 normal human servings or
- 3 hungry developer servings
Directions
- Grease 7" cake pan (or nearest equivalent, Grandpa wasn't picky)
- Mix cream-style and drained non-cream-style corn together in mixing bowl
- Spread 1/2 of the corn along the bottom of the cake pan
- Spread 1/2 of the crackers over the layer of corn
Repeat for one more layer of corn and crackers - Beat eggs and milk together for 2 minutes in a mixing bowl (preferably the corn mixing bowl, which should now be empty, to save on dishes that need washing)
- Put egg/milk mixture over the layers of corn and crackers, using a fork to poke holes in the layers to allow egg/milk mixture to seep into all crevices
- Drop button (or margarine) in dots over the top
- Bake at 350 for one hour or until top is golden brown
- Bake at 200 for 30 more minutes for rustic Grandpa goodness
- Let cool for as long as you can stand to wait, cut into pleasing shapes and serve
Chris Sells
Submitted for O'Reilly's "Gastronomy for Geeks"
Tue 3/4/2003 8:44 AM
Thursday, Feb 13, 2003, 6:50 AM in Fun
What is Meant by "Marketing"?
People often ask what is meant by Marketing. Perhaps the following analogies will help clear it up:
- You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing.
- You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising.
- You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say," Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." that's Telemarketing.
- You're at a party and see a handsome man. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," And reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations.
- You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.
- You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You talk her into going home with your friend. That's a Sales Rep.
- Your friend can't satisfy her so he calls you. That's Technical Service.
- You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be gorgeous women in all the houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated in the middle and shout at the top of your voice, "I'm fantastic in bed!". That's Spam.
- You hear about women like this but never meet one. That's False Advertising.
Created by unknown
Contributed by Asaf Shelly
Thu 2/13/2003 6:50 AM